Big girl bed

The moment, the topic every parent dreads and looks forward to at the same time.

For me, it really didn't have much to do with "she's out of her crib...not a baby anymore," which, she hasn't been in a LONG time--but more "oh lord, think about all she could get into."

Last night, as we watched the OSU/Wisconsin debacle, I sat on the couch, heart in a jumble, questioning each creek, each breath (on the monitor) each cough, and certainly--each look Ily would give towards the upstairs.

I told Eric I wouldn't likely sleep, worrying that she'd come down the stairs and get into anything and EVERYTHING she could.  Would she come to our room?  Hopefully--she has to walk past it to go downstairs...would Ily let us know?  Would she try to turn the TV on?  (we've heard stories from friends of finding their toddlers in the living room at 2 a.m. watching Elmo or Nemo--good luck kid, I can't figure out those remotes MYSELF!)  Would she come to Eric's side of the bed?  He's such a sound sleeper...would his snoring scare her?  Would I hear her and wake up?

By 10ish, I had worried myself into drifting off, and we headed to bed.  Though we heard a cough or two (still recovering from her massive cold) we didn't hear a peep.  As I record this, it's quarter after 8, and though the dog has harrassed us to go out, nothing from the toddler.

Can't tell if she's up and lying there, admiring her new leaf canopy dad lovingly constructed, or reveling in her bigger space, all her animals surrounding her, or even enjoying the new cozier corner of the room that we had to relocate her bed to--away from any direct light?  OR--equally possible, did she silently find a good book (or 5), hop in her new Poang chair, and is enjoying the morning?

Since we skipped the video monitor in there, it's hard to tell.  I don't dare go up and risk waking her, but I'm dying to know if I will hear her, and go up to find her all snuggled, or if I'll see and hear her little pitter-patters coming soon...never know with this one.

Regardless, the transition is done.  New bedding, FUN new bed and the room actually has more open play space now, believe it or not.  We did move the crib into baby sister's room to clear it out though yesterday and we all had a somewhat teary moment of confusion...it went like this.

Amara got up from her nap, the first time in the bed, and we went up to meet her on the landing.  She had opened the door and was bleary at best, standing outside her room.  While we let her wake up, we all played up there with craft supplies, and one by one, Amara went into the baby's room, found 'her' things that we had CLEARLY misplaced, and carried them back into her own room.  Two blankets, a bookend, and a book or two--makes me uneasy for this whole "sharing" transition.  Eric peeked into the other door of the nursery and he said Amara was standing on the mattress of her crib with this confused look on her face--not saying a word.

She then came out onto the landing and almost getting teary-eyed, said "I want my mattress--"  referring to her new twin-sized mattress that we had let her jump on since we brought it home Sunday.  We tried to explain that it was on her new bed--so maybe she was confusing the new and the old mattresses?  

Sure, you could attribute this to general confusion, but by her attitude, I'd say there was some lament for her " baby things" too.  I infer a lot, so who knows.  Regardless though, at bed time last night, she was excited to go up into her new bed and we read stories and got her acclimated to her new place in her bed.  We were happy to be able to read to her and be closer to her, and not have the 'fence' of a crib wall between us at bedtime.

I have to keep reminding myself sometimes, "change is good."  ( Right?)